I have written an article where I interviewed men who have used online dating services and actually went on real dates with women they met. Now I am going to interview some women who have met their dates through an online dating service to get their reaction and stories.
One note, while safety applies to both men and women, it needs to be said, that women need to be especially careful when deciding to actually meet any man they met online.
Women should talk to the guy through email and chat for awhile before even giving out a phone number. Remember that a phone number can be traced back to your address. Don't think because your phone number is unlisted that you are protected.
The next step after emails and chat should be by phone. You can learn a lot about someone by talking on the phone and really listening to what they say. If they make you feel uncomfortable on the phone, then you don't even want to take the next step and actually meet them.
If you do decide to meet the man you met through an online dating service, make sure you first meet in a very public place. Tell your friends where you are going and when you expect to return. Make the first date a short, get to know you, kind of date. One that is not scheduled to go longer, so you can go home and gather your thoughts before deciding whether or not you will date this man again.
Do not let him take you someplace secluded or in his vehicle anywhere on that first date. You may think you know him from all of the online and phone conversations, but abusers and abductors are very smart in the way they lure females into a trap. Be careful.
That being said, online dating can be a great way to meet some very nice men and maybe even find your soul mate. Using common sense is just a good idea. Now on with the interviews.
Of course, the women I am going to interview for the article wish to remain anonymous, so I will just call them Online Dater 1, 2, and 3.
We will begin with online dater 1; (a 27-year-old female)
Me: How did you hear about online dating?
Online Dater 1; My girlfriend at work actually married a guy she met through one of the online dating services and she urged me to try it at least once.
Me: Where and how did you meet your first online date?
Online Dater 1; I'm not sure I should tell you the website I use, but it is one that you can browse through the profiles of all the men that are available. I remember thinking it was like shopping. So it was fun. I found several profiles of guys I might like and emailed them. I received a lot of responses and began to chat with them by email. I let a couple of them call me on my cell phone and finally let one convince me to go out on a date.
Me: How long did you chat with this person online before you two decided to date in person?
Online Dater 1; Oh, about a month. I was a little leery and thought each of these guys must have something wrong with them to be here in the first place, but I guess that could apply to what they might be thinking about me too.
Me: What was it about them that made you want to meet them in person and did you feel they were your soul mate?
Online Dater 1; Okay, I'll admit it. His picture got me. He was an absolute hunk and I had the hots for him right away. I still took my time about agreeing to an actual date. I couldn't understand why he would need to use an online dating service.
Me: Was your first impression of him, upon seeing him in person a surprise, a positive reaction, or a negative reaction?
Online Dater 1; Totally positive. He was better than his picture!
Me: So, tell us what happened after meeting him in person.
Online Dater 1; We dated a few times. We really hit it off. We had a lot of the same interests, just like they were in the comparison charts at the online dating website. We are still seeing each other after 9 months. He hasn't popped the question, but the answer is going to be yes!
Okay, next I will be talking to a 19-year-old female about her experience.
Me: How did you hear about online dating?
Online Dater 2; I clicked on a link in an email that looked interesting.
Me: Where did you meet your first online date?
Online Dater 2; Through the 3rd online dating service that I signed up for. I didn't like the first two very much. Too, well, old style.
Me: How long did you chat with this person online before you two decided to meet in person?
Online Dater 2; About a week.
Me: What was it about them that made you want to meet them in person and did you feel they were your soul mate?
Online Dater 2; I didn't think he was my soul mate or anything like that, but he was really a cool guy and we both liked the same music and clubs. It turned out we had been to a lot of the same spots but never met.
Me: Was your first impression of him, upon seeing him in person a surprise, a positive reaction, or a negative reaction?
Online Dater 2; I'd say positive. He was like in his picture and all, but a little shorter than I pictured him.
Me: So, tell us what happened after meeting him in person.
Online Dater 2; Well, we went out a few times and had a good time, but like I said, I never expected him to be the one, you know. It was fun. He still calls once in awhile and I might date him again, but I'm still talking with other guys on the dating service and might try another date from there soon.
Last, a 41-year-old female shares her online dating experience with us.
Me: How did you hear about online dating?
Online Dater 3; I saw an ad on television for a very popular dating service. I was alone and thought it couldn't hurt to try it out. I work a lot and don't have much chance for a social life, but thought I needed to get back into the game, if you know what I mean.
Me: Where did you meet your first online date?
Online Dater 3; Through the website I signed up for from the ad. .
Me: How long did you chat with this person online before you two decided to meet in person?
Online Dater 3; Almost 6 months. As I said I work a lot and he was a professional, a lawyer, so his time was limited too. We would contact each other every day after work and talk about how our day went.
Me: What was it about them that made you want to meet them in person and did you feel they were your soul mate?
Online Dater 3; Well, it was me who finally asked him out instead of the other way around. I just decided it was time to meet him. I had been talking to him everyday so it was already like coming home to hear him say, How was your day?
Me: Was your first impression of him, upon seeing him in person a surprise, a positive reaction, or a negative reaction?
Online Dater 3; He was exactly what I expected. He had sent me many pictures so I would know what he looked like and I had sent him several as well. So there were no surprises there.
Me: So, tell us what happened after meeting him in person.
Online Dater 3; We're married. We've been married now for almost a year, but everything is great! It's not like he was my fantasy guy or anything so corny. He is a nice man. We got to know each other over that time online. And when we met, the conversations picked up right where we left off online. It was just natural after dating in person for about 6 weeks, that he asked me and I accepted.
In conclusion, these were some pretty positive interviews with people who have met someone through an online dating service and met someone they wanted to date in person. They all had success in varying degrees. But it does sound like something I might try now that I've heard their experiences. |
