1. CHOOSE TO BE RESPECTED OR CHERISHED You've got to know who you are before you can exchange what you've got. In every relationship, there can only be one respected Masculine Energy leader, and one Feminine Energy cherished follower, with veto rights, at least in the beginning, until a commitment has been negotiated. Choose whether you want to be the giving male or the receiving female, regardless of your anatomy. Whatever you choose, have integrity. 2. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FEELINGS Avoid what you don't want. Feminine Energy must feel good to do good. (Masculine Energy must do good to feel good). Don't rationalize away negative feelings, no matter who tells you to. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Honor your body. 3. DON'T FORGET THE COURTSHIP Take care of your sexually attractive body. Aging happens to everyone but neglect is the choice of narcissists who believe that love is blind. But men aren't blind. They need to see what they want to touch. Women need to hear what they want to respond to. 4. LEARN TO COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS AS SOON AS YOU HAVE THEM, AND LET HIM KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T WANT Have the courage to speak up and not delay by rationalizing. Men cannot mind read your feelings. When they ask, tell them the truth in non=judgmental feelings=centered ways. Use my techniques. 5. BE AVAILABLE AND RECEPTIVE TO LOVE MAKING AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK Your body bonds to him in sex. Neglecting your sex life is spiritually destructive. But don't ask for sex unless you have both agreed that you may. Too often masculine women with high needs for passion, ask or grab their husbands without permission, resulting in his inability to perform. Decide on your sexual style and signals. Sex is not a silent sport. Spontaneity often causes chaos while discipline allows better spontaneity. 6. SET ASIDE FIFTEEN MINUTES A DAY TO TALK TO EACH OTHER! Every day, each of you should do Amigo Talk, asking the other what he or she thinks and feels about things that matter to both of you. Learn how to help the other to feel better and to achieve his or her goals. Then each person should try to execute your tasks. When a man's thinking is respected, he feels cherished. When a woman's feelings are cherished, she feels respected. 7. RENEGOTIATE TERMS AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR Or whenever there is a change in your lifestyle, to give both partners the variety of switching roles. Negotiate time: I, We, Us; space: closets, drawers, dens, sewing art, craft; money: mine, yours, ours; and play: non-sexual and sexual. For best results, do not negotiate lying down or while eating. 8. KEEP ALL AGREEMENTS The only way you know you love yourself and others is by the agreements you are willing to make and keep, Respect and cherish each other daily. Don't give up unless he makes you sick or drives you crazy. Nobody is perfect. If he's 51%, keep him. 9. CREATE A ROMANTIC MEMORY BANK A romantic memory is one in which the male gives pleasure to the female, and the female gives pleasure back to the male (but always a little less than she gets). When the male is giving, protecting, and cherishing the female, he is penetrating her defenses, which allows her to surrender to the pleasure of the relationship. Romantic memories keep him coming back for more. 10. BE APPRECIATIVE AND LOYAL TO YOUR MATE Giving up your independence may mean a delay in career satisfaction, but after 40, when the kids are in school and he is more than willing to share the money load with you, you'll be out there with the best of them. As men get older, they need more cherishing, and as women get older, they need more respect. Life comes in phases and plateaus; you don't ave to have it all today. Save some for tomorrow. Your family is a gift that will keep on giving back for life. Be a good team member. www.sandraharmon.com copywrite - Sandra Harmon - 2006 |
